As I hadn’t seen Julie, Rachel or Scott since
Turkey Day, the 2009 Christmas season was much anticipated, especially after spending three weeks alone in Jackson, MS - at my job during the day and my Reflection Pointe bachelor pad evenings and weekends. While I desperately missed my wife and kids, I could at least interact with them on the phone. I missed my pooch as much as the others, but knew I could only get my Lucy fix in the flesh, as my numerous attempts to communicate with her over the phone fell on very pointy deaf ears. As smart as Lucy is, she’s yet to master the phone; emphasis on ‘yet’.
Home in Hot Sulphur on the 23rd, and on Christmas Eve the 24th, our nuclear family was enjoying a wonderful Christmas meal, including our shameless little pooch, her oversized schnozz nestled between my knees below the dinner table, begging scraps with a look that could thaw a Grand County winter. After the meal, it was time for gifts, and what came next for Rachel was indeed the ultimate definition of ‘the gift that keeps on giving.’
No, not a ‘jelly of the month’, not a library card, not even the promise of hope and change; nope, this eternal little reminder of Christmas 2009 was named ‘Buster’. That’s right; not only did my new dog-friendly lifestyle have to embrace Lucy, but I now had to deal with TWO DOGS – 24/7, it was now The Lucy & Buster Show, starring, of course, Lucy!!
This wasn’t a surprise to me, as Julie had been discussing this for the past month. During those conversations, had I a nickel for every time I said “that’s a horrible idea”, my cash shortfall would be non-existent. “But Lucy needs a friend!” was the rationale which Julie offered; “like Mr. Clean needs a haircut”, I countered, “that dog would kick the butcher’s sorry ass if she thought he was trying to supplant her as Queen Bitch of The Riverside!”
Despite my attempts to enlighten Julie regarding the downside of having two pooches in a hotel (one of them being Lucy, to boot!), Julie rescued Buster – an Australian Shepherd/Corgi/Dachshund mix – from the Dumb Friends League in Denver. Buster is cute like the ocean is deep, like Everest is tall, like politicians are crooked – you get the picture; all puppies are cute, but Buster would for certain win some contests.
But Lucy thinks Buster sucks!
Lucy’s thinking “What is this uninvited little koala-bear looking thing, with an adorable personality and an overbite to match, DOING IN MY HOTEL??? I barked, I growled, I notified the bosses of this things’ intrusion, and they’re obviously deaf to my protestations. Whoa, what’s this??? They seem to actually like this intruder, and possibly at my expense! Oh, damn this little thing! I’ll bite its ears, I’ll bite its neck, its legs and its back; I’ll show this little mutt where it lives, and let it know who the landlord is!”
The Christmas Season is principally about peace on earth, and good will towards your fellow man (or pooch); I can now, after having experienced sharing space with two dogs (again, Lucy being one of them), that you can throw that notion right out the Riverside window into the Colorado River. The next few days were nothing but every waking hour being an endless display of a non-stop, doggie rough-housing, one-up-man-shipping, ear-biting, butt-sniffing, ass-in-your-face, who’s-in-charge-here domination contest. Lucy’s normal routine is to awaken at 7-ish for a quick trip outside to do her business, then it’s back to bed – sometimes until 10-11 AM. No more; after that 7 AM nature call, she’s sitting outside of Buster’s door – “Hey Buster, you want a piece of this? You ready for me to Jesse Ventura your ass? Whoa, wait a minute, what’s that I smell? Poop? Damn straight that’s what you smell, cause I just pooped outside your door, you little half-breed!”
And so begins another day at The Riverside. It ends like this too.
But back to the December 28th "In Your Face" poop that may have been the loaf smelled 'round the world; or certainly our world.
....................To be concluded.
Home in Hot Sulphur on the 23rd, and on Christmas Eve the 24th, our nuclear family was enjoying a wonderful Christmas meal, including our shameless little pooch, her oversized schnozz nestled between my knees below the dinner table, begging scraps with a look that could thaw a Grand County winter. After the meal, it was time for gifts, and what came next for Rachel was indeed the ultimate definition of ‘the gift that keeps on giving.’
No, not a ‘jelly of the month’, not a library card, not even the promise of hope and change; nope, this eternal little reminder of Christmas 2009 was named ‘Buster’. That’s right; not only did my new dog-friendly lifestyle have to embrace Lucy, but I now had to deal with TWO DOGS – 24/7, it was now The Lucy & Buster Show, starring, of course, Lucy!!
This wasn’t a surprise to me, as Julie had been discussing this for the past month. During those conversations, had I a nickel for every time I said “that’s a horrible idea”, my cash shortfall would be non-existent. “But Lucy needs a friend!” was the rationale which Julie offered; “like Mr. Clean needs a haircut”, I countered, “that dog would kick the butcher’s sorry ass if she thought he was trying to supplant her as Queen Bitch of The Riverside!”
Despite my attempts to enlighten Julie regarding the downside of having two pooches in a hotel (one of them being Lucy, to boot!), Julie rescued Buster – an Australian Shepherd/Corgi/Dachshund mix – from the Dumb Friends League in Denver. Buster is cute like the ocean is deep, like Everest is tall, like politicians are crooked – you get the picture; all puppies are cute, but Buster would for certain win some contests.
But Lucy thinks Buster sucks!
Lucy’s thinking “What is this uninvited little koala-bear looking thing, with an adorable personality and an overbite to match, DOING IN MY HOTEL??? I barked, I growled, I notified the bosses of this things’ intrusion, and they’re obviously deaf to my protestations. Whoa, what’s this??? They seem to actually like this intruder, and possibly at my expense! Oh, damn this little thing! I’ll bite its ears, I’ll bite its neck, its legs and its back; I’ll show this little mutt where it lives, and let it know who the landlord is!”
The Christmas Season is principally about peace on earth, and good will towards your fellow man (or pooch); I can now, after having experienced sharing space with two dogs (again, Lucy being one of them), that you can throw that notion right out the Riverside window into the Colorado River. The next few days were nothing but every waking hour being an endless display of a non-stop, doggie rough-housing, one-up-man-shipping, ear-biting, butt-sniffing, ass-in-your-face, who’s-in-charge-here domination contest. Lucy’s normal routine is to awaken at 7-ish for a quick trip outside to do her business, then it’s back to bed – sometimes until 10-11 AM. No more; after that 7 AM nature call, she’s sitting outside of Buster’s door – “Hey Buster, you want a piece of this? You ready for me to Jesse Ventura your ass? Whoa, wait a minute, what’s that I smell? Poop? Damn straight that’s what you smell, cause I just pooped outside your door, you little half-breed!”
And so begins another day at The Riverside. It ends like this too.
But back to the December 28th "In Your Face" poop that may have been the loaf smelled 'round the world; or certainly our world.
....................To be concluded.
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